Don't Blink
by Lycasis
Summary: A year has passed and Dean has finally found his lost Angel; but at what cost?
1. Thursday Chapter One

Don't Blink. Chapter One. Thursday.

At the Lake:

He didn't think it would work, not in a million years. But he was out of options. In the past year he's tried everything he could think of; summoning rituals of all kinds, kitschy parlor tricks; even after he's gotten angry and desperate, shouting over the lake "Cas, you son of a bitch, get down here" like Hail Marys at a confessional, nothing had changed.

He's tried everything short of standing at the end of the dock and doing a card trick. Although, if this plan failed him he might just have to.

Nothing has worked. So, here he was, sitting at the end of the dock fishing for his lost angel with an oversized cheeseburger squeaky toy from PetPlus as bait.

Sam was sitting back at the Impala watching Dean from a short distance, claiming it was to make sure he didn't try to swim down to the bottom of the lake (Again) to look for his angel, only to nearly drown and need rescuing (Again).

Hell, Dean knew he was getting beyond desperate at this point. Instead of using small rocks like both Bobby and Sam had suggested he instead went as far as to weight the dog toy down with Summoning charms and good luck talisman. He was going to use every fucking thing he could think of to try and get Cas back. No matter how stupid it was. And boy did he ever feel stupid.

Dean had started his little fishing expedition at a quarter past six that morning, with a small coolers worth of beer; but night, and his last beer where quickly approaching. It was now a mere two hours until the mid-summer sun would set and Dean could tell how restless Sam was getting.

No matter how many times he told his idiot of a brother to leave, get himself something to eat, he wouldn't. So they sat still in their respective places until almost an hour to sunset.

He was about ready to pack up, he couldn't keep doing this to Sam, neither of them had eaten and Sam had blatantly refused to leave Dean just in case "something happened".

"Hey Sammy. Five more minutes then I'm headed out." Dean shouted as he closed the cooler for the last time.

A look of something close to pity edged at Sam face as he looked at the ratty, old, tan trench, sitting next to Dean before he stopped it and yelled back "Take your time. I told Bobby we'd be out late."

He saw the look play across Sam's face and it pissed him off, but he stopped the acidic smart remark that jumped willingly to his tongue, reminding himself that Sam had been helping, watching over, and in a way, consoling Dean ever since he started this little venture. No matter how pissed he was Sam didn't deserve his head chewed off for it, this time.

As the seconds ticked by there was no hope left in it. This whole "fish an angel of the lord out of a lake even though he is more than likely dead for good this time" expedition had quickly drained Dean of any true hope he might have had. He didn't know why he kept coming back. He supposed he did this out of habit more than he did it because he thought it would bring Cas back. But some part of him wouldn't let him stop.

The beer in his hand was halfway to his mouth when the line went taught. The fishing rod was almost torn out of his un-expectant hands. Dean scrambled to hold on, dropping the beer and letting out a gruff yelp in surprise that had Sam rushing over. But it was no use, the line went limp just as quickly as it had gone tight and they both settled back in place while Dean finished the last of his beer.

Less than a minute later the line went tight again but this time he was ready. That stupid fish made him look like an idiot and he was going to get his revenge. More and more plans of just how he was going to cook the fucking fish were forming in Dean's head the harder he pulled on the fishing rod. He stared intently at the water wondering just how big this thing was going to be. He almost had the fish burgers done and served in his mind before the water's surface even rippled so it was even more of a surprise when the black shape that broke the water's surface wasn't even remotely fish like.

The second time the line went slack did startle him through and before he knew it he had been thrown back a few feet and couldn't breathe for the thing had come out of the lake and landed squarely on him.

All Dean could do was lay there his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to draw air into his lungs to keep from passing out like a pussy. When the sound of Sam's laughing reached his ears. That little pain in the ass was actually laughing at him. He looked up to tell Sam off but all he could see was blue. A pair of brilliant bright blue eyes rimmed with thick black lashes in fact. He pulled his head back only to quickly meet the hard fishing deck beneath his head. He cringed but couldn't move for the ton of soaking wet . . . Angel? Lying on top of him.

"Cas!? Get off me." He wheezed. "You're fucking heavy." A whoosh of air hit him as Castiel rolled to the side.

Cas slowly sat up and just stared at Dean with his head tilted slightly to the back as he watched Dean sit up himself.

"Dean. Why are you here?" Cas asked gruffly tilting his head in that tell-tale gesture of confusion.

Before Dean could even begin to formulate a response that DIDN'T make him sound like a total chick, Cas leaned back a little as if taking stock of the situation.

"Dean?" He asked in a voice that cracks from months of disuse. "Why am I here?"

That was yesterday.


	2. Distance Chapter Two 1

Don't Blink Distance Chapter Two

"Hurry up and bring him inside." Bobby ordered as Dean, Sam and Castiel drove up to the house and got out of the Impala.

Bobby stepped out of the way as the three passed and immediately found himself gagging from the smell that clung to them.

"Damn! You boys need a bath! Get!" Bobby coughed as he tried to regain his breath. "All three of you! March!" By now the smell had diluted enough for him to finish talking. "Crowley's got dinner almost ready, you boys have an hour." As soon as he said that he picked up a plastic bag and walked away towards the kitchen.

Sam turned toward Dean as he spoke. "I'll go first that way you can check him for anything broken." He started toward the stairs to the upper bathroom stopping half-way up the steps and turning slightly to face Dean one more time. "I'll try and take care of that thing for you after dinner. If I can't I'll do it tomorrow after breakfast"

"Yea, alright. Thanks." Dean mumbled as he began to pull Castiel awkwardly by the hand toward the door that led to the impromptu infirmary in the basement.

In the Basement:

"Alright Cas, let's get that off, your shirt smells worse than the lake." Dean said blushing a little to himself in the gloomy basement as Castiel slowly stripped from his now ratty and torn button up shirt, he winced as he pulled back his left arm.

Dean sucked in a breath. Beautiful, was the only decent thought he could manage as he looked at the angel sitting shirtless before him. He should take a look at Cas' arm, he knew that, but that meant touching him and . . . a small groan came from Cas as he tried again to move his arm.

"Let me see." Dean stuttered a bit as he grabbed Cas' now bared arm and gently lifted it up. The arm in his grasp was toned and well-muscled but lean and slender. He was again grateful at the low lighting of the basement.

Dean lowered his arm. "I think it's just not used to moving that much." He then moved in front of Cas to his other side and repeated the action, to the same result.

As he walked around behind the table to look at Cas' back he stopped cold. What the hell? Dean leaned in closer; he couldn't be sure in the dim lighting but, were those . . . wings!? As he reached out to touch one forearm length wing, it fluttered as though willing him closer.

"Dean . . ." Castiel twisted and turned in an attempt to look at Dean without having to get off the table and turn around. "What is wrong?"

He could barely reply as he watched the Angel's body contort. When he was finally able to answer his voice was a bit high and strained to his ears. "Why can I see your wings?"

Cas twisted again in an attempt to see them as his wings fanned. "I don't see them."

That's because they look like the wings of a baby bird Dean muttered to himself. "Hold still." Dean pulled a small iridescent black downy feather from a bunch of them at the base of Cas' wings and presented it to him.

"I thought angel wings were white." Dean said concentrating on the shimmer of colors.

"I am sorry to disappoint." Castiel said with a hint of sorrow edging at his tone. He lowered his head as Dean came around to face him.

"You have nothing to be worried about. I'm just . . . just . . ."

Dean looked down and was suddenly meet with a strong blue gaze.

"Dean, I . . . " Cas trailed off, suddenly very interested in Dean's lips. They looked so nice and plump. Leading up to a strong nose above which was dotted with the very freckles he loved to count.

Closer and closer they drifted; a few feet, then a few inches separating their mouths. The basement suddenly feeling like a whole different planet; not just a large space underneath the house.

Dean's body coming in closer as Cas spread his legs to let him. Their mouths so close; Cas could feel the heat coming off of Dean's lips with his own.

"Hey, are you two okay down there? It's time to eat" Sam yelled from the top of the steps.

With the spell broken the two of them drew back from each other as fast as two teenagers being caught by their parents.

Dean cleared his throat and yelled up gruffly. "Yea, we'll be up in a few."

"The shower's ready whenever you want to us it." The adolescent teasing in Sam's voice was evident as he called down. "Or you two could just use the shower outside the panic room. It would be nice and private."

In the Dining Room:

"Glad to see that smell wa'nt Permanent" Bobby said as the boys and their angel's sat down at the table. The smells from the kitchen making even Gabriel look eager.

"Here it is." Crowley came in with a plate of red wine soaked lamb while the table was already set. The sides included grilled red skin rosemary potatoes, buttered corn with red pepper flakes and lastly a basket of cheese and herb biscuits.

"Looks great. I can't wait to see what you have ready for dessert." Gabriel grinned as he looked down at his plate.

"I almost forgot." Crowley drawled as he leant down under the table. "I got us a bottle of aged Macallan to celebrate Castiel's return."

The whiskey was passed around and dinner went on as usual from there, Sam and Gabriel chatting as Crowley's Hellhound sat somewhere between Crowley and Bobby; while Dean and Cas sat and stared at each other. (It was mostly a lot of Cas counting Deans freckles as Dean tried to convince himself that Castiel was in fact really there.)

" . . . an! Dean! Earth to Dean! Stop making googly eyes at your boyfriend, Crowley asked you a question. Like five times." Sam growled at Dean as Gabriel giggled in the background.

Crowley replied quickly. "It's nothing; I just wanted to know if you were almost finished with Growley's collar. We need something to let you lot see him."

"Almost." Dean replied. "I just need to finish the inscriptions on the inside and the gold lettering on the outside. It's spelled G. R. O. W. L. E. Y. right?"

A growl sounded out from somewhere near Crowley's legs. The sound was low and sinister as it trembled throughout the room.

Crowley looked up and smiled at the rest of them, only to frown at the variety of nervous and worried faces that met him.

"He's happy I swear." He said as he raised his hands in a gesture of defense.

"Un-huh. Anyway, I'm bored so . . . time to party." Gabriel said through a huge grin. The Archangel snapped his fingers and the room changed. The fan/ light in the middle of the room changed into a disco ball, draped in streamers and splashed with multi-hued glitter. The dining room table was moved off to the side and turned into a banquet while in the middle was placed a bar complete with seating. Club music pumped into the room through unseen speakers. Through the door that used to lead to the kitchen came a slew of waiters and waitresses clade in skin tight uniforms.


	3. Distance Chapter Two 2

Hey. Sorry the first half of chapter two doesn't say this but it was only the first half. The chapter was so long I had to split it up. I hope everyone enjoys the second half as much as the first ^_^.

-oOo-

After "Dinner" in the Living Room:

"Are you do 'in okay Boy?" Bobby asked Dean who sitting across from him on Crowley's couches. They had moved Crowley's furniture from his old house almost two years after he and Bobby met. Soon after that they sold Crowley's old house. "I know this is tough on ya and I also know yer not gonna say a damn thing to any of us; even though you know damn well we care." Bobby finished reluctantly and stared right at Dean, waiting patiently for whatever may come at him

Dean just sat there, his temper boiling under the surface, he wanted nothing more than to flip Robert Singer the bird and leave; but not before voicing his opinion of just how far out of his business they should stay and how. Unfortunately, all that would just piss Bobby off; get Crowley (who was trying to be a voyeur ninja in the next room and failing) involved.

Cas had been told to wait upstairs in Dean's room so not only was his brain already trying to convince him that Cas had never been there but that this was in fact going to be an intervention about Dean needing counseling or some shit to get over the Angel.

Not going to happen! So instead of the laundry list of things he really wanted to do, he stood up and walked to the door as calmly as he could and turned around. "I'm fine. I promise I am. Now I'm going to go upstairs and get some sleep. I got a call from Lisa; she thinks they have a ghost problem near Ben's school. I want to leave as soon as Cas can come along." He didn't even wait for a reply nor did he even bother to turn around as he heard (barely) Crowley and Bobby walk to their room at the back of the first floor. He didn't have the compassion for whatever soft murmurs of reassurance Crowley was offering Bobby. He would feel bad in the morning for the cold shoulder treatment he just issued his adoptive father but for now he needed quiet. Even if it meant the quiet was in the presence of another person. Castiel was okay though. He was different.

In Dean's room:

When Dean finally got up to his room it was close to two o'clock in the morning. He was tired, but somehow just knew he wasn't going to get any sleep. The door was closed; the room beyond it was dark and cool from the air conditioner in the far window.

"Cas?" Dean whispered into the darkness. No reply. He turned the small lamp by the door on only to nearly stumble backwards. There on the bed was Castiel; fast asleep. Dean tried not to panic; but he could feel it rising in him. Angel's don't need sleep. Yea sure Gabriel sleeps but that's only because he wants to keep the same schedule as Sam since they share a bed. That was choice. This looked more like exhaustion. The dark circles standing out in sharp relief against the oddly pale skin of his cheeks.

Walking the rest of the way into his room Dean went and crouched next to Castiel. He sat there watching his chest rise and fall in a slow steady rhythm becoming less and less aware of harshness of the hardwood floor on his joints. Dean laughed to himself a little as he realized the Angel hadn't even bothered to change out of the jeans and t-shirt he had borrowed from Dean.

Castiel stirred and stretched onto his side, facing away from where Dean was on the floor. Sighing as he settled back down. He was so tempted to touch Castiel's wings through the thin cotton shirt. The small black shapes standing out like a shadow. He stopped himself and stood carefully back up.

Walking slowly and quietly to the other side; Dean sat down and took off his shoes before joining Cas on the large king sized bed. He didn't think he would sleep, but, before he knew it sleep had claimed him. And so did the nightmare that lay beyond.


	4. Empty Road Chapter Three

Sorry this chapter took so long. I didn't have internet access for a while -_-. I'm going back to school in about a week so (Again I'm sorry) but it looks like you might have to wait for the next chapter. Please be patient. I will do my best to make it up to everyone. Please enjoy! =^w^=

-oOo-

The rain was falling harder now, like little needles spearing through open flesh. He was so tired that none of it mattered. Not the pain in his right arm or the heady cocktail of blood and rain spilling over his eyes, blinding him.

The more he tried to move the more he couldn't feel of his arms and legs. The glass shards from the Impalas windshield caught in his skin and the odd angle that his limbs rested at overloading his sense of touch making his mind fuzzy at the edges.

What had he been thinking going out alone? He started to chastise himself. He couldn't help it though. Cas had been back for three days now, but it still didn't feel real. Every time Cas left his sight he couldn't be sure that the angel had come back at all. And it wasn't like he had planned on hunting or anything. He left half an hour ago to get a damn beer and clear his head. Now he was propped up against a tree like a macabre blowup doll.

He brought his head up the best he could in hopes of finding his baby nearby and drivable. The crackle of a fire made him look left only to witness as the Impala slowly burned a few yards away. "Joy." Dean muttered sarcastically.

He hadn't even bothered to grumble to Sam or Bobby or hell even Crowley, who was standing protectively behind Bobby, where he was going as he stormed half pushing past them on his way out.

He groped around for his cell phone; patting his pockets weakly and looking around at the ground next to him. His cell phone was gone, great. So, to sum it up, he was injured, lost and without any means of contacting help. In short, he was fucked.

Dean came to again; the bitter-sweet memory still lingering like a thick fog over his senses. It had happened, but days ago. Not hours or even minutes but days. He wasn't home, he wasn't safe. He was alone and dying . . . again. He didn't remember passing out or even most of the dream he had. All he knew was the despair he felt when he came to and Castiel wasn't there. Not that he was hoping to look into those innocent bright blue eyes one more time before he got dragged straight back to Hell. He wasn't even going there; but it seemed like his mind had a different opinion.

Dean tried to not think about it, but, the harder he tried the harder it became to not think about . . . well everything! The memories of his last venture through Hell's twisted underland, the confusion and fresh hell of coming back life, to loosing Cas after he went into the lake, then finally to the last three days of having his; he shakes his head not letting that last thought form. Even this close to death Dean Winchester was not going to have a fucking chick moment. The rain had stopped and the air around him was cold, a light misting of frost had covered everything around him in a strange veil.

Well this is interesting Dean thought vaguely as he brought his head up to look at the no longer burning Impala. On one hand the cold will help slow the bleeding but on the other . . . wasn't it summer? The thought should have worried him more than it did, but for some reason he just could muster up the giva fucks he needed to care. Too bad that seemed to be the only good thing that was happening at the moment. As he let his head loll back down he was distracted by a trail of blood and a thought . . . how was he still alive?

It didn't take too long before he was too cold and even with the flow of blood slowing down he had lost a lot of it. The road was in front of him but at a distance and up a small embankment. It would take a lot of energy he didn't have. It was also his best and only chance of getting out of this alive.

He moved his left arm experimentally, noting only a few deep cuts still shimmering from the glass left within and bruises which had formed around them. His right arm was much worse. It hung at a sickening angle and only wobbled or twitched pitifully every time he tried to move it. He couldn't feel his legs either and it was probably for the best; but he could still move them.

He leaned to the left, slowing the descent with his "good" arm. When he was laid out completely on his stomach, he started to crawl. Inch by inch he moved forward; every muscle he could still feel ached. The effort making him sweat despite the cold.

It didn't take long before the salt was getting into his wounds causing them to burn as he dragged himself slowly up the little embankment to the side of the road.

The edges of his vision began to get blurry and dark from the added pain and soon he was blind from the combined pain and effort. This time he felt the fall from consciousness and welcomed it. Sliding free from thought and pain the last image in his head was one of Castiel smiling at him and the lingering words:

I Love You.


	5. While I Wait Companion Chapter Three

Don't Blink While I Wait Castiel's Chapter Three

This chapter is a companion to the first chapter three. I just wanted to make it abundantly clear. This is happens at the same time. Enjoy ^_^

-oOo-

The atmosphere began to thicken slowly with the coming rain. It had been two hours since he watched as Dean walked out of the front door. He shouldn't have a concept of time. He was an angel after all. Time was of little consequence when one had all of eternity.

Castiel turned from the window as he tried yet again to fly, to hear his siblings, to do _something _angelic. But nothing happened. The younger Winchester, no Sam, told him he should give himself some time to "get back to normal". That he shouldn't expect to be able to do what he used to so soon after coming back from the dead. Again.

He cannot stop himself. The more Castiel tried to do what he was once able to do without a thought, the more powers he realizes are lost to him. For the moment at least.

The rain starts to fall.

Though the one that bothered him the most was the loss of his connection with Dean. He was once able to feel a strong connection with the hunter, even when he was away, but not anymore. The connection is there, he knows it, but it's weak. Castiel raises a hand to his chest, his grace shimmering dully within him. If things continued the way they were, he would have to seek council with one of his brothers, if any would speak to him after what had happened. He could always speak with Gabriel; the archangel had seemingly forgiven him the moment he stepped through the door of Robert and the demon Crowley's home. Although, he did not want to risk pushing the boundaries of this odd trust.

As Castiel began thinking of his very limited options a sharp pain rippled through his grace, the pain so great he could have sworn he was falling. His wings strained under the sudden presser, his vessel twisted and contorted in near impossible ways. The seconds ticked slowly by as the pain only grew worse. Just as he was sure he was about to die, his body crumpled to the floor and his vision faded to black.


	6. Life After You Chapter Four

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I managed to lose internet connection then my edition of Microsoft word. Now I'm sick and trying to work with a very stubborn Microsoft Word 2000. It hates doing spell checks and looking for grammer mistakes so if you see any, you know who to blame.

-oOo-

Castiel came too covered in a light frost. Goose bumps lining his arms as his body started to shiver. He was in a forest; the smell of damp earth and decay clinging to the inside of his nose.

There was another smell; coming from behind the thick brush. It smelled like burned metal and stale blood and . . . Dean!

Castiel rushed up. Hitting his head on a branch and knocking himself off balance. He had to get to Dean. Something was wrong he just knew it.

He didn't have far to run before he saw the Impala and his heart nearly stopped beating. The windshield was busted outwards. The smell of hot metal and singed upholstery that caught itself on the wind nearly brought Castiel to his knees. He stumbled over to Dean's baby, panic and grief blinding him to his surroundings, making him stumble on exposed roots and thick underbrush.

"_dean_?" Cas coughed to clear his raw throat.

"Dean!?" He shouted as he got closer to the driver's side door.

"Please Dean. Answer me!" The door was open and the car was empty, a trail of blood leading away and into the forest. It was diluted from the rain, but he could still make it out, barely. He had to be alive.

Movement caught his attention. A weak, subtle twitch on the bank headed towards the road. Cas didn't waste a moment before he was running. His breath sawing in and out of his lungs as the forest clawed at his feet, threatening to topple him over.

He slowed down. "Oh God!" There was blood everywhere, hidden in places by the glossy shine of frost in the moonlight. All of it was Dean's; and it was stale even this close to him. Castiel approached slowly; afraid of what he might see.

Dean was lying face up. Well most of him was. His right arm was swung out from his body at an odd angle and his legs where twisted unpleasantly. If he was breathing it was too shallow to see yet.

"_cas_?" Dean's voice sounded far away as he called out for his angel.

Castiel rushed over and knelt down next to him.

Castiel was sobbing as he brought Dean closer, lifting him into his arms. "Dean! What . . ." He swallowed again to clear his throat. "Where you attacked, what happened?"

Dean just shook his head meekly. ". . . _don't ra'member. what took y'ou s'long feather brain__?_" He slurred in a mock offended tone.

Castiel stared down at Dean. The large cut on his forehead reopened as he moved, making his hair dark and his skin slick. "I am sorry, I could not . . ." Dean interrupted.

"_it's not your fault. __please, just take us home_."

After that the only sounds left in the forest were the echo of footstep, and the flutter of wings.


	7. Recovery Chapter Five Teaser

Teaser (Filler) Chapter. Sorry I haven't kept to the schedule I set up. I really did intend to but just as soon as I got my Internet back up and running and Microsoft word is (Sort of) behaving; now the big problem is my laptop can't seem to go any decent length of time with out the screen whiting out and forcing me to shut it off. Any way, I hope this teaser chapter will be good enough for now. ^_^

Chapter Five: Recovery

It had taken almost 24 hours but Dean was finally asleep in his own bed. It had been a long day for all of them. Castiel had found Dean, gotten him home, and then promptly passed out. Gabriel was looking after him in the spare room next to Dean's. Crowley was back down in Hell trying to find out what he could. That just left Bobby and himself to look through the volumes and volumes of dusty old tomes, hoping uselessly to find an answer that made sense.

"What 'bout this one?" Bobby asked tilting a large leather bound book towards Sam.

"I didn't see any bite marks or scorch marks. I don't think that's it." Sam replied shaking his head.


End file.
